All about marriage...Funny Quotes

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 |
Buzz this
Every man should get married some time; after

all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! -Anonymous



An archaeologist is the best husband a woman

can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.

--Agatha Christie

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than other.

--Oscar Wild



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Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb

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I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

Sam Kinison

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A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give

You for free. --Anonymous

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Bachelors know more about women than married

men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.

--H. L. Mencken


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Men have a better time than women; for one

thing, they marry later; for another thing,

they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken

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"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2

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Marriage is a three ring circus:

---engagement ring

---wedding ring

---suffering

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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone

knows why.

When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone

wonders why.

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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

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When a man opens the door of his car for his

wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife..

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?

"She said, "Somewhere I have never

been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"

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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours

That was only for the estimate.

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She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.

Then the mud fell off.

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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling,

"Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the

street I yelled, "No, jump in!"

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BaddTeddy recently explained to me why he

refuses to ever get married. He says "the wedding ring

look too much like miniature handcuffs... .."

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If your dog is barking at the back door and

your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you

let in first?

The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

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A man placed some flowers on the grave of is

dearly departed mother and started back toward his car

when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling

at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound

intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to

die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir,

I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but

this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen

before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A

parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself,

then replied, "My wife's first husband."



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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband

leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned

over too much, fell into the well, and

drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but

then smiled "It really works!"

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Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman

He loves.

After marriage, he earns for the woman he loves.



"I hear and I forget, I see and I remember, I do and I understand"
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2 COMMENTS on "All about marriage...Funny Quotes"

noncarborundum on 2:41 PM said...

U2 didn't say "A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - they said "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"

Quote Lover on 2:54 AM said...

Great Quotes!
I enjoyed reading those

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